** *Drinking coffee, of course. **
Alison at The Party of 3 blog recently published a funny post about CBC’s morning traffic guy, Dave Brown . Alison writes:
I have a radio crush on Dave Brown, who does the traffic reports for CBC Radio One in the mornings. Dave has fun with the traffic report. I can't wait to hear the new ways he'll describe how traffic is moving. Or not, as the case may be.
** So here it is: The Dave Brown Traffic Report Drinking Game ** Fill up your travel mug with a Timmie's double double, a Starbucks chai latte, a Bridgehead fair-trade Americano, or just the plain old coffee that comes out of your Procter-Silex, get in your car and get ready to play. Turn your dial to 91.5 FM and make sure your mug is handy when the traffic report comes on.
** Take a swig whenever he says: ** > > * It's a tough sled on all the bridges. * There's a collision on the go. (But really, Dave, we need to talk about this one -- it's an oxymoron. When there's a collision, it's definitely on the stop.) * And that's where the magic happens. * 417 westbound is clogging up. * Whenever he calls 'the Split' 'the Merge'. * Eastbound 417 is packed to the gills. * Patience is a virtue. (while describing the bridges) * Take a large gulp whenever his prose gets extra-descriptive. You know what I mean. Examples of gulp-worthy lines: * "Highway 50 strikes a pose at Montée Paiement and vogues all the way down to la Vérendrye." * "Volume builds up through Kanata, reaches an apex at Bayshore, then deconstructs by Woodroffe." * "The 174 is in leather pants mode: tight as it approaches the Split."
> > * [ Read more from the original blog post here... ](http://itsjustapie.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-dave-brown-traffic-report-drinking.html)
** ** See also: ** Ottawa Traffic Guide
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