fake friday

Ottawa - Shopping malls across the region will launch their annual Santa Claus displays in what looks to be a banner year for bringing terror, screams and pure fright to hundreds of toddlers and children alike. Area shopping malls are busy preparing their Christmas pavilions for the arrival of their Santas this weekend in preparation for the the busiest retail time of the year, November 20th to December 20th. ...

[ ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/harp2.jpg) _ _ _ _ _ Seoul _ - The G20 Summit held in Seoul, South Korea over the last few days has concluded with a failure to reach an accord on settling disagreements and imbalance within global trade. ...

Ottawa - The perpetually going-out-of-business sale at Ormes Furniture continues into its 100th year with a special sale commemorating the fact it has been trying to go-out-of-business for the last 100 years, with little success. Year after year, radio ads announce that Ormes Furniture is finally going out of business, but yet it still continues to survive. ...

Ottawa - With only 5 days remaining in the campaign for Mayor, favoured candidate Jim Watson made a surprise announcement from his headquarters earlier today revealing he is actually one of 12 clones that were "created" for his campaign. Using cloning techniques perfected in Asia, Watson announced he clinically cloned himself so he could make multiple campaign appearances across the city at the same time. ...

_ Byron Ave. _ - The current mucinicpal election has been somewhat heated between candidates, but a recent traffic accident has now taken the election to a more dangerous level. Doug Slagson, 88, an undecided voter in the Kitchissippi Ward has put up over 120 campaign signs on his lawn at the intersection of Byron and Dawson Ave. ...

_ _ _ Ottawa- _ Coin operated parking meters will be become a thing of the past as new IG-88 Droids will replace the less efficient meters next month. Touted as the “ultimate parking payment method” for city parking, the new droids will be phased into service beginning with Preston Street and moving east into the downtown core. ...

_ Wellington Village- _ An early morning stroller jam caused an extremely difficult sidewalk and street situation for those that braved Wellington West Saturday morning. Hundreds of strollers jammed the area as parents robotically pushed their over-sized child movers onto sidewalks towards coffee shops, trendy children's boutiques and organic food stores. ...

_ _ _ Lansdowne Park - _ In a surprise buy-out from the City of Ottawa, the Sisters of Visitation cloistered nuns have purchased the entire Lansdowne Park area and plan to demolish everything and build a $500 billion dollar convent to replace the one they sold in Westboro last year. ...

[ ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/oc1.jpg) _ Ottawa _ - The city's transit system is about to improve dramatically according to OC Transpo head, Gil Fallon, who launched new initiatives to improve Ottawa's beleaguered bus service. At a press conference early Wednesday morning, Fallon unveiled a bold new plan that includes personable stop calls, a new 24km articulated bus, and the swift removal of any head grease stains on bus windows. ...

[ ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/festfest2.jpg) With somewhat limited excitement, FestFest is gearing up to be the 37th consecutive festival held in Ottawa this summer. Following on the heels of the Hot Air Balloon Festival, Festfest hopes to appeal to crowds who want to celebrate festivals, with a festival. ...