fake friday

[ ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/manwestboro.jpg) Westboro - Eyewitness reports of a normal, non-sporty male wearing a regular button- up plaid shirt and khaki pants have been recorded early Wednesday morning after two joggers spotted the unusual creature on their way to yoga class. The rare sighting of a normally dressed, slow moving male with no visible signs of active living, has many residents in the area concerned and demanding city bylaw officers hunt down and remove the creature from the upscale neighbourhood. ...

Westboro- A new business opened its doors for the first time this weekend catering to the many inactive Westboro residents who have felt ignored in the past. Contrary to the flurry of active living lifestyle stores that continue to flourish in the neighbourhood, “Lethargic Equipment Co-Op” will offer sloth-like residents the chance to purchase equipment and accessories that will assist in fulfilling their sluggish, sedentary lifestyle. ...

Ottawa - Petro-Canada gas stations across the Ottawa region have recently unveiled new signage on their pumpstoday inreaction to the rising fuel costs. [  ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/pumppcan.jpg) The new signs inform customers that the company will now beacceptingcertified healthy human organs and dental gold as payment for fuel charges at over 67 locations across the city. ...

[ ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/flamethrower.jpg) _ Ottawa _ - The annual Tulip Festival will look less colourful this year after the it was decided the flowers were too much work to maintain. Scheduled to open this weekend, the Tulip Festival has been adjusted with all the tulips being burned. ...

[ ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/bins.jpg) Ottawa - Federal Liberal candidates across the country are seeking recycling equality and are lobbying municipal waste programs to launch “red bin” recycling in addition to their current “blue” and “green” bin recycling receptacles that residents use to recycle waste. ...

WEST WELLINGTON - A new bar has recently opened and will be catering to the trendy, hip parents of the neighbourhood by welcoming toddlers and babies to join their doting parents as they get intoxicated with other, trendy, hip patrons. ...

Rrrrroll up the rim! Tired of having to deal with yet another election to determine who will be Canada’s next Prime Minister, Canadians are excited to turn to their coffee to have a chance of winning the seat as Prime Minister. ...

[ ](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/scottpot.jpg) Ottawa - After a minivan was destroyed by falling into a large pothole on Scott Street, city officials have decided to turn the 8 foot deep hole into a beautiful koi pond stocked with exotic koi adopted from the tsunami ravaged city of Hirokika, Japan. ...

A popular Bank Street Shoppers Drug Mart is facing an uncertain future as they compete with a recently opened Shoppers Drug Mart across the street. Sitting roughly 50 feet away from the current Shoppers Drug Mart, the new, larger Shoppers Drug Mart has managed to steal business away from the original Shoppers Drug Mart with brighter lights, a bold cosmetic department and refrigerated grocery items. ...

_ Ottawa _ - The vibrant, and sometimes disturbing images of over-exposed and camera flashed food items from shawarma shops across the city will now be on exhibit at the prestigious Karsh Photography Gallery this month. Once only enjoyed by late night revellers and hungry urbanites who can't read menus and require enlarged photos of food platters, the exhibit will showcase the artistic side of these " ...