Fake Friday: Watson Readies Clone Army For Mayor's Office

Ottawa - With only 5 days remaining in the campaign for Mayor, favoured candidate Jim Watson made a surprise announcement from his headquarters earlier today revealing he is actually one of 12 clones that were "created" for his campaign. Using cloning techniques perfected in Asia, Watson announced he clinically cloned himself so he could make multiple campaign appearances across the city at the same time.

Known for being at many events throughout the greater Ottawa area at the same time, Watson admitted his clones were attending the events for him, so he, or his “presence” could cover more ground during the campaign. The clones look, act and speak exactly like Watson who invested over $2 million in the cloning process. “I think the citizens of Ottawa should know that I am now even more capable of executing my duties as Mayor since I have 11 other “me’s” to handle the difficult task.” Watson explained to a shocked group of media and press attending the announcement at his campaign headquarters.

“However, people should also know that I am the only one Tweeting over 2,000 times a day, and those Tweets are not from my clones.” Watson remarked before two red cloaked guards entered and kept a raucous crowd from approaching the clones that suddenly appeared from behind the curtains. Watson then commented his new clone army will bring order and stability to the galaxy and that the clones and he look forward to ruling the city from the Imperial Council after October 25. Watson then immediately Tweeted his announcement.

Competing candidates Larry O’Brien and Clive Doucet were shocked to learn of Watson’s use of the clones to appear across the city at the same time, but were not surprised. “The guy is at a retirement home in Vanier at noon, then at a school assembly in Greely ten minutes later..it just didn’t add up.” Doucet replied. O’Brien remains confident he can win the election and beat the clones and Watson with his new Lighter-Than-Air Transit plan. “My ring-road idea, OC Transpo Zeppelins and giant Krypto-Laser Fuel Plant will get me back in City Hall.” O’Brien remarked before boarding a helicopter bound for his secret lair.

Editor’s note: Every Friday on OttawaStart, we feature a “best of” post from the-o-dot, the satircal Ottawa blog. This article originally appeared here.