Fake Friday: Distracting Election Signs Cause Accident In West End

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 Byron Ave.

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-  The current mucinicpal election has been somewhat heated between  candidates, but a recent traffic accident has now taken the election to a  more dangerous level.  Doug Slagson, 88, an undecided voter in the  Kitchissippi Ward has put up over 120 campaign signs on his lawn at the  intersection of Byron and Dawson Ave. resulting in a serious multiple  car accident that has sent four people to hospital with minor injuries.

 A  distracted driver trying to comprehend the 120 signs posted on his lawn  suffered sensory overload and went into a seizure causing his vehicle  to lose control and careen into oncoming traffic, causing a  multi-vehcile pile up at the intersection.  In a chain reaction of  drivers distracted trying to read all the signs, 34 vehicles were  involved in the pile up, resulting in minor injuries to 4 people  involved.

 "I  was just driving along and happened to glance over at all the signs and  then I lost control of my car and before I knew it I was rear ending  the car in front." stated Gary Thubert, who was unharmed in the pile up,  but still thinks Slagson should remove some signs or make up his mind  who he is voting for.

 "I  am still undecided." Slagson remarked, "Until I make up my mind I'll be  supporting each and every candidate with a lawn sign." replied Slagson  who has since been contacted by City officials to remove some of the  signs before they distract further drivers and cause an even more  serious accident. "We told him to maybe take down a couple, but he  refuses until he makes up his mind who he is voting for." commented City  By-Law officer Gwen Jenkins who visited Slagson after the accident.  "He's not breaking any rules, so we really can't do anything." Jenkins  said.

With  another week of municipal campaigning in the Ottawa area, the  distracting signs will most likely remain on Slagson's lawn until voting  day, so police are warning drivers to avoid the area so they will not  be distracted and lose control of their vehicle.  Slagson reports he is  leaning towards a Hobbs/Watson vote, but is somewhat apprehensive of  Watson's casual dress and Hobbs sultry looks. "Back in my day a Mayor  wore a hat and the women were not allowed to show any knee." Slagson  remarked before placing yet another Clive Doucet sign on his lawn.

Editor’s note: Every Friday on OttawaStart, we feature a “best of” post from the-o-dot, the satircal Ottawa blog. This article originally appeared here.