/ #cbc #radio 

The Dave Brown Traffic Report Drinking* Game

** *Drinking coffee, of course. **

**

**

[

](http://ottawastart.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/sitenavlogo-thumb-268xauto-59822.jpg)

Alison at The Party of 3 blog recently published a funny post about CBC’s morning traffic guy, Dave Brown .  Alison writes:

I have a radio crush on Dave Brown, who does the traffic reports for CBC Radio One in the mornings. Dave has fun with the traffic report. I can't wait to hear the new ways he'll describe how traffic is moving. Or not, as the case may be.
** So here it is: The Dave Brown Traffic Report Drinking Game **

Fill up your travel mug with a Timmie’s double double, a Starbucks chai latte, a Bridgehead fair-trade Americano, or just the plain old coffee that comes out of your Procter-Silex, get in your car and get ready to play. Turn your dial to 91.5 FM and make sure your mug is handy when the traffic report comes on.

** Take a swig whenever he says: **
  * 
 It's a tough sled on all the bridges.



  * 
 There's a collision on the go. (But really, Dave, we need to talk about this one -- it's an oxymoron.  When there's a collision, it's definitely on the stop.)



  * 
 And that's where the magic happens.



  * 
 417 westbound is clogging up.



  * 
 Whenever he calls 'the Split' 'the Merge'.



  * 
 Eastbound 417 is packed to the gills.



  * 
 Patience is a virtue. (while describing the bridges)



  * 
 Take a large gulp whenever his prose gets extra-descriptive.  You know what I mean.  Examples of gulp-worthy lines:



  * 
 "Highway 50 strikes a pose at Montée Paiement and vogues all the way down to la Vérendrye."



  * 
 "Volume builds up through Kanata, reaches an apex at Bayshore, then deconstructs by Woodroffe."



  * 
 "The 174 is in leather pants mode: tight as it approaches the Split."

  * 
 [
  Read more from the original blog post here...
 ](http://itsjustapie.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-dave-brown-traffic-report-drinking.html)

**

** ** See also: ** Ottawa Traffic Guide

If you liked this post, you should ** subscribe to etcetera , ** our free email newsletter. Featuring cool Ottawa events, interesting local news and contests and giveaways. Thanks!